Everything you want to know about active or passive sexuality (without ever daring to ask)

Everything you want to know about active or passive sexuality (without ever daring to ask)

We live in a patriarchal society.It is therefore not surprising that liabilities are stigmatized because they do things considered to be reserved for women during intercourse.

Some homosexuals prefer to be active, because this role does not threaten their masculinity."The problem is that assets are often perceived as more male, virile and aggressive, while liabilities are generally qualified as effeminate and associated with a position of submission", wrote Madison Moore, cultural critic and professor ofStudies on the Queer community in Thought Catalog in 2014.

“This attitude is purely cultural and deeply rooted in our genre conception,» he continues.“Men are supposed to be men, not to take dicks in the ass.»

The question stems from the broader problem of discrimination with regard to men with more feminine characteristics within gay culture.

No relation to personality or appearance

Do not fall into the trap which consists in presupposing someone's favorite sexual position according to their appearance.

Tout ce que vous vouliez savoir sur la sexualité active ou passive (sans jamais oser le demander)

Many men like to be passive, just like many men full of work at work or in public take advantage of being in bed to delegate a little control and play submissive. Certains homosexuels “efféminés» adorent aussi être actifs.

“En plus d’être dégradant, c’est un non-sens absolu que d’être mis dans une case en fonction de son expression ou de son physique», énonce Bradley Birkholz, créateur YouTube et militant pour les droits des homosexuels.

“Dès l’instant où quelqu’un suppose que vous souhaitez subir certaines choses au lit, il y a danger, quel que soit votre genre ou votre orientation sexuelle», prévient-il."In my opinion, our culture dictates to people that our words, our actions and our dress indicate that we want to undergo certain things in bed, when it is simply not true.»

As in any sexual relation, communication is essential.You have to ask yourself and know what his partner expects, and not rest on prejudices.

"We can be gay without loving sodomy, and it's not a problem. On peut aussi utiliser les étiquettes d’actif ou de passif», continue Birkholz."These terms are not pejorative.You just have to avoid using it to qualify other people on simple assumptions.»

La série d’articles Sex Ed for Grown-Ups (“L’éducation sexuelle pour les adultes») aborde tout ce qu’on ne nous apprend pas à l’école en plus des cigognes, des roses et des choux! Découvrez-y de futurs articles d’experts et des témoignages personnels.

This article, published on the American HuffPost, was translated by Typhaine Lecoq-Thual for Fast Forword.

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