Family secrets: "My daughter was born under x"

What is your family secret? At 19, I made a denial of pregnancy.When I got back from vacation, I have a delay in one day rules.I'm under pill, but I decide to do a test to be sure.It is positive.I will immediately see my gynecologist with my mother.She announces that I am between seven months and a half and eight months of pregnancy.I am banging.I do not know this phenomenon.For me, it's a girl's thing to keep her boyfriend.I am a student, full of projects and a thousand leagues to have a child.The baby repositions himself, my belly starts to grow.I say it right away to the sire - I prefer to call him like that -, then, I never heard from him in my life again.I make the decision to give birth under x.I put loose clothes to go to class and for a month I don't see anyone except my family and my best friend.When Louise is born, I can't give it up.After childbirth, she is sent to neonatality, with the newborns who are between life and death.I can't even touch it.But it's too hard.During the night, I ask to recover it.I never signed the abandonment papers.

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How did you teach it to your family? The first thing I do was send a text to my mother: "I recovered Louise."She replied:" It's the best day of my life.»I spend ten days in maternity.We tame.I learn everything: give the bath, the bottle ... Meanwhile, my mother and my stepfather buy a stroller and prepare a speed in speed.On the fourth day, we tell ourselves that it must be said to the whole family.I have the ball in the stomach.I am too emotional and shameful to call my grandmother and say to her: "Hi, I have a child."My mother takes care of it.She also teaches it to my two uncles, my cousin, my godmother, my godfather ... In the end, it makes a pack of people who stay on the ass.Everyone reacts super well and come the next day at the hospital.My grandmother even hurry to have a gourmet engraved with the name of Louise and her date of birth.The atmosphere is however a little heavy.No one asks a question, we pretend that nothing had happened.Today is a taboo subject.We never talk about my daughter's birth.They never knew that I had initially chosen to give birth under X.

Would you have preferred that it is not a secret? Obviously, I would have preferred that everything is going normally.This month during which I hid my pregnancy to my loved ones was a moment of great reflection.The shrinks I saw pushed me to give birth under x.If my whole family had been aware that I was pregnant, I think she would have reassured me and avoided making this choice.I was obsessed with what people were going to say about me.In fact, your family remains your family whatever happens.My boyfriend, who has taken care of it for her first months, recognized Louise and we love her more than anything.Now, I apprehend the day she asks questions like "Mom, why is there no photo of you with Bidou?»We will have to tell him the truth.Lying to a child can do damage.

* All first names and some biographical elements have been modified to preserve anonymity.

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