Gender-neutral education: where do we start?

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Despite the evolution of mores and the societal revolutions of the 20th and 21st centuries, the situation remains disturbing and this is not limited to the controversy surrounding the “genderification” of children's toys. Today, girls and boys are educated differently. From an early age, they are confronted with gendered norms which hinder their personal development. This phenomenon is not only due to bad will. Rather, it is a pattern reproduced by parents who themselves grew up on this pattern. Fortunately, the trend is gradually reversing and gender-neutral education is no longer so marginalized. How to start on a good basis and adopt it? Here are a few things to think about.

Understanding what gender-neutral education is or is not

Gender-neutral education does not aim to deny the existence of a sex assigned at birth. This approach is based rather on the premise that gender is a social construction and that it is up to each individual to define themselves. And on this point, some countries are more advanced than others. In Sweden, considered one of the most egalitarian countries in the world, the public school advocates neutral pedagogy and the curriculum, but also the behavior of teachers has been reviewed in this direction to allow children to develop fully. A model that is beginning to inspire other European countries. Thus more and more parents seduced by the method choose it for the education of their own children.

Contrary to popular belief, gender-neutral education does not necessarily require you to choose a neutral first name for your child or to use the first name “iel”, characteristics that we owe rather to theybies education. It is rather a question of breaking all gender stereotypes from an early age and educating your child in a positive way, by instilling in him that he has the capacity to succeed in what he undertakes, regardless of his biological sex.

Put an end to everyday gender clichés

All learning, near or far, is still marked by gender connotations. Very quickly, during the school curriculum, the emphasis is on famous men when famous women can only be counted on the fingers of one hand. In kindergarten, girls are entitled to princess tales and boys to knights. Laying the groundwork for a gender-neutral education requires moving away from resources that have been benchmarks for learning for decades and embracing innovative textbooks, books, and pedagogical techniques. Today it is possible to find little stories where a boy cries while hugging his doll and others where a girl rides a horse and wields a sword... And in some other works, the gender of the main character may not be defined…

If the first years, children are not aware of their biological sex, and this until the age of 4 years, they remain very manipulable and influenced by their environment. The people, objects, occupations and places in which they evolve define today what they will be tomorrow. It is essential to inculcate in one's children that passions and activities and interests do not have to be gender-normed. Thus, a girl can perfectly play the console with her mother while a boy goes to choose clothes with his father, even if social shackles would have preferred it to be the opposite.

Building a healthy environment

At home, it's up to parents to set a good example. A child will find it easier to build his own identity if he sees his parents both taking care of the tasks relating to the maintenance of the house. Thus, cleaning, ironing or washing up will not be in his eyes the prerogative of mum or DIY that of dad. He will be less tempted to be reluctant to perform such and such an action on the pretext that it is not part of the missions assigned by society to his sex. But efforts should not be limited to showing an equal sharing of tasks. It's about going further by proving that when it comes to emotion, everyone is free to show it. A father is quite capable of giving affection to his child and all that concerns sensitivity or emotion is not just a girl's affair.

In addition to the behavior of the parents, the place where the child lives is also very important. Girls' rooms are rarely furnished and decorated in the same way as boys', vice versa. If the cliché of pink or blue walls seems to have been overcome, there is still a long way to go in terms of decoration, the style of furniture, the type of lamp or even the pattern of bed linen. However, this does not mean that the room should be devoid of originality, it is enough to opt for objects without gender connotation and to choose, for example, pastel shades and then once the child has established preferences , let him add his personal touch.

Sometimes put his desires aside to favor the balance of the child

During pregnancy, particularly when sex is announced, parents often project themselves into the activities they will be able to do with their child or the gifts they will give him, sometimes forgetting the principles of a neutral education. And this tendency to want to influence your child and shape him in his image does not generally go away. Although this is entirely human and often comes from the remnants of his own education, it must be kept in mind that the child must remain in control of his choices. There is also another little habit that is sometimes difficult to get rid of: the nickname. If gender-neutral education places such importance on language, it is because words carry psychological weight. How can a parent claim to educate his child on a principle of neutrality, if he describes his daughter as "my princess" or his son as "my big one"? Although nicknames are assigned out of affection, they have the annoying habit of sticking a label and negatively marking the child. Better to stay on the first name.