"If I refused, I could have been killed": investigation into the survivors of forced marriage in France

A suitcase of clothing, school affairs, a mobile phone.That's all Katia* has since fled her parents and a forced marriage a year ago.Everything she gets out of the taxi on this December night with her cousin Laura, before rushing in the Emergency Accommodation Center (CHU) of the Lao Pow’her (1).The address, kept secret, was sent to them by text a few hours earlier.

For Katia, the journey begins at the start of the 2019 school year.She is only 17 years old when her parents present her the one they chose for her.""""I had to sit next to this 50 -year -old old man, knowing what my sisters already lived: not the right to go out, just to take care of your husband during the day and to let him do whatHe wants night.I want to be independent, to become a pediatrician...""""Sent to France for marriage, she then runs away from her brother where she stayed until the winter of 2020, when he puts her outside the threats of their father.

Alone in the cold, she goes to the only other contact in France, Laura, her 20 -year cousin.She too recently arrived in Paris to be married by force.The young woman finds in her cousin a little joy.""""I was able to resume high school, rejoices Katia.Studies are my only benchmark for stability.""""The respite will be short -lived.""""I had lived for almost a year at Laura and her husband, says Katia.He was violent.That evening he hit her.The police intervened and sent us to the Lao Pow’her.""""Around midnight, they land in the accommodation center and the two cousins settle in their room, without saying more.Educators then believe they have managed a case of domestic violence.They will quickly understand that they have to do for forced marriages.One more time.

From one hell to the other

In the CHU, the two cousins meet Myriam, who arrived a month earlier.In his family too, girls have no saying about the choice of their husband.""""I was panicked at the announcement of my wedding.I chatted with my sister to find out what it was doing: your husband decides for you, you have no more life ... I couldn't force myself, especially with a 50 -year -old uncle, """"says the 19 year old Nigerian, who wanted to disobey his parents.""""My sister failed to convince them to cancel the union.And if I refused, I could have been killed.So she paid for my visa for France where an aunt welcomed me.""""From one hell to the other.Despite its 78 meter, Myriam became the scapegoat of her host.Not knowing anyone else, she dares not leave.But she ends up making an appointment at the Lao Pow’her.She gives herself up on the modern slavery of which she is the victim.Everything she has been silent for a year and that encourages educators to offer her a place of accommodation.

Shelter from girls who would have finished on the street

""""We detail the possible appeals, the ins and outs of their choice, but they decide alone to leave.""""Amandine Maraval is the director of the structure, the only association in France to accompany girls aged 15 to 25 victims of domestic or intra -family violence.In this welcoming place opened in November 2019, 215 young people were able to be taken care of.A third fled a forced marriage (figures February 2021).In this case, the association urgently hosts the adult girls in one of the 15 double rooms that they rent on the 2nd floor of a hotel converted into an emergency accommodation center.A hotel that made it possible to """"shelter girls who would have finished on the street with risks of addiction or prostitution,"""" said the director.

On the same subject ⋙What the marriage exploded the couples: from the ring to the finger on the ball at the foot?

⋙ The same sex couples, especially men, would be happier in marriage than heteros

Myriam, who dies a little more every day with her aunt, does not procrastinate long.A few days after her appointment, she is working to plan her departure with Mathilde, one of the educators.On D -Day, while the educator coordinates the operation by phone, Myriam sneaks outside the home.She must go to the station where a taxi awaits her.""""I was afraid that the neighbors will give the alert when I saw me getting into a car.""""But quickly, the relief:"""" Being sitting in this taxi with my suitcase was the end of hell, and the beginning of the life for which I left home.""""

Myriam, like Katia, had to do quickly.When the family announces marriage - sometimes precipitated by the discovery of a romantic relationship - time is counted.Like Moïra*, 19, whose departure from France for foreigners materialized last fall without being consulted.His parents had just negotiated a double marriage with another siblings. La jeune femme reste vague, de peur d’être reconnue : """"Mon père a toujours ‘’blagué’’ sur le fait de me marier, là j’ai vite compris que c’était du sérieux.But I couldn't go without a place to go, so I stayed to organize everything.""""She did not plan that it would last three months before recovering, exhausted, at Lao Pow’her.Yet not very fan of roommate, she accepts the escape offered by the association to finally be sheltered, that of sharing a room where a kitchenette, two beds and a bathroom are piled up.

To secure their arrival, Amandine Maraval and her team then offer young women who have French nationality to write a document indicating that they do not wish to leave the territory. """"Document qu’on envoie à la police des frontières, si une fille nous appelle de l’aéroport, afin d’empêcher son départ.""""In Moïra, she quickly offers to place a handrail. Une possibilité à laquelle cette jeune femme au tempérament bien trempé n’a pas hésité à recourir, persuadée que sa famille """"jouerait les hypocrites"""" en se lançant à sa recherche.

Learn How to make French toast healthier: http: // t.CO/UIE05GOUTE

— Workout Anywhere Mon Mar 24 18:41:02 +0000 2014

Educators, advisor, lawyer ...

""""As I am relieved to be at the CHU. Je me suis posée, j’ai déballé mes affaires…"""", se réjouit Moïra à son arrivée dans sa chambre et la découverte de son lit aux draps blanc et marron. Avant de déchanter : """"Je n’ai pas pu attendre pour envoyer un texto expliquant les raisons de mon départ à ma famille.They immediately called me to put pressure on me.""""Harassment lasts from days, until it resigns itself, at the end, to change the number.Do not disclose your address, not to invite friends, to change frequently has become for Moïra, Katia and Myriam habits.Both to guarantee their safety and to silence the anxiety of being found.When they go out, it is by multiplying the suspicious looks.

After having taken stock with the lawyer and the conjugal and family advisor, they now fully rely on one of the two educators, Elodie or Mathilde. La seconde, dans son bureau à la déco girly, s’attèle avec Myriam à déconstruire les mécanismes des violences subies : """"Ton père n’avait pas le droit de faire ça. Tu n’es pas coupable d’avoir fugué et ça ne justifie pas les violences de ta tante…"""" Autant de phrases-clés dont s’imprègne Myriam et qui lui ont permis d’avancer et de retrouver son sourire enfantin. """"On a éclairci son conflit de loyauté envers sa tante qui l’a soumise à de l’esclavage moderne et aujourd’hui, elle s’autorise à être elle-même, se réjouit l’éducatrice.Katia has trouble thinking about her and still protects her loved ones, even if she is clear on forced marriage.As for Moïra, she continues to distance this violence which she refuses to name.""""

On the agenda of the last meetings of Myriam and Katia, the question of papers.While Katia, portable riveted in hand and impeccable makeup, retraces with Elodie her path of wandering and violence in order to prepare for her interview with OFPRA (2), Mathilde helps a slightly lost Myriam to constitute her fileasylum application. Et de préciser : """"On intervient car leur régularisation relève directement des violences qu’elles ont subies ou qu’elles subiront en cas de retour au pays."""" Quant à celles dont la famille réside en France, """"la priorité est de leur obtenir une ordonnance de protection"""", explique Estelle, juriste au CIDFF 93 (3) et intervenante auprès de l’association.There remains the complaint, which can be used to overwhelm their parents, even if they risk the worst to be prosecuted for the crime of Dolosive maneuver (4).Only Laura did it, but for domestic violence.Pregnant, she will also have to settle the parental authority of her child to be born.

In the center, girls also learn to manage everyday life

In the CHU, young girls resume the course of an almost normal life.Katia is a clip in terminal S with 17 on average, and Moïra has registered in the BTS Accounting of which she dreamed. Quant à Myriam, si sa rencontre avec les filles du centre l’a sortie de sa solitude, elle regrette de """"ne toujours pas pouvoir aller à l’université faute de papiers"""".For her days to seem shorter, she writes announcements to find a job, participate in professional or dance insertion workshops, cooking and laughs with her roommate ’. En plus de bénéficier d’une domiciliation et d’un suivi santé, """"elles apprennent à gérer le quotidien, que ce soit la recherche de stage ou faire une machine, et reçoivent des tickets service et transport, vu qu’elles n’ont aucune ressources"""", résume la directrice.

The CHU is normally only a passage of a month and a half in their lives.A time intended to put them in safety and find the devices adapted to each.For Katia, Elodie offers the young major contract, which gives access to a shared apartment and financial assistance time to finish her studies.Problem: she can only benefit from it alone.Inconceivable for the one who refuses to be separated from Laura.""""I would have too bad without her, and I won't leave her when she is pregnant.""""Each weekend, the cousins remain together to watch films and take care of each other in their room, where they have attached the beds.

Moïra, she laments herself. """"Je pensais qu’on y préparerait un après plus stable, avec job et logement.I feel like I'm doing everything myself."""" """"L’équipe les accompagne, mais elles doivent faire une partie des démarches"""", assure Elodie qui y voit une voie vers l’autonomie.Despite this, Moïra does not regret having fled a marriage that would have prevented her from living. Comme Myriam et Katia, """"même si ça fait mal d’être éloignée des parents"""", et malgré le fait qu’elles aient du """"affronter autant de difficultés"""".In April, a residence permit, Katia left the CHU to take private accommodation with Laura.Perhaps, one day, they will get in touch with their parents, to prove to them that they have come out of it anyway.And without husband.

* The first names and minor details of the stories of these women have been modified.

1.Pow’her reception and orientation location.Associationfit.org.

2.French Office for the Protection of Refugees and Stateless.

3.Departmental information centers on the rights of women and families.

4.The law of August 5, 2013 sets three years in prison and a fine of 45,000 euros in prison for having cheated on a person in order to take him abroad to force him to contract a marriage.

Article published in Neon magazine in October-November 2021

▬▬ rate

🚨 Wait!Did you like this article, and you want to support us?

💡 GO for free to your Neon space. Ça vous permet d'être alerté·e de nos prochains articles sur le même sujet (vous pouvez cliquer sur """"suivre ce sujet"""" en haut de cette page), vous abonner à nos newsletters (un best-of hebdo et notre NL sexo) et sauvegarder vos articles pour plus tard.In accordance with the GDPR, we do not sell your data, and we will not spam you, promised.It may be a detail for you, but for us it means a lot (and it allows us to stay free, by the way).

⋙ I connect