Boys toys, girls toys: should you go against stereotypes?

Tell me what you play, I won't tell you who you are

« Peu importe à quoi l’enfant joue, l’essentiel c’est qu’il joue ! » s’exclame Anne Bacus, psychologue. Il faut en finir avec l’idée selon laquelle une fille joue comme une fille et un garçon comme un garçon. Les jouets ne sont pas sexués avant trois ans environ. Les petits n’ont pas encore une conscience claire de leur sexe et jouent indifféremment avec les jouets qui les tentent. Même si une étude américaine récente explique qu’il existe une différence innée entre les filles et les garçons, nous apprend Anne Bacus. Ces derniers se dirigent spontanément vers les jeux qui respirent l’action et la propulsion !

Around three years old, baby begins to focus on his sex, to feel girl or boy.He feels a certain pride in being one or the other and seeks to give himself the attributes, including in a caricatural way."For the anecdote," says Anne Bacus, a little girl and a little boy in front of a remote control improvised a different toy: the little girl made a phone and the little boy a pistol!»».By understanding their sex and intentions, they enter into a role.Princesses girls and hero's men?Yes, children receive messages from society and put on their costume, different by nature but also conditioned by stereotypes.

And yet a little boy can play doll and a girl with small cars.There is nothing abnormal to that and it is quite frequent.Parents are often worried (wrongly) when it occurs, observes Anne Bacus.We must step back from these "standards".

Each child plays what he wants, and manipulating toys of the opposite sex is not predictive.No, a little boy who plays dolls will not be homosexual.

It is therefore important to end the stereotypes: it doesn't matter what baby is playing, that doesn't mean anything!And even if it is important to offer her child toys that comfort him in his sex, no need to do too much and to enter clichés that strengthen girl boy inequality.

By dint of stereotypes, we dig girl/boy inequality

This is a good thing to accept the different requests of boys and girls, sword or magic wand, car or baby, explains Anne Bacus, because the little one must receive toys that have meaning and attributes defining his sex.But this is not a must.Marketing uses this difference to sell toys that are far from unisexes.Result we are going towards a clear form of inequality.No, the little girl is not good only to do the dinette and the boy, to become a hero of modern times!Advertisements transmit too many images that reduce the girl to household chores for example, and man to save the world.Offer gifts like her children, too extreme, strengthens inequality girls boys and conditions the little ones.

So, what do we offer to baby?

We say yes to the gifts that help them differentiate themselves and understand that they are girls or boys but not to gifts that strengthen inequalities.To achieve this happy medium, it is important to detach yourself from stereotypes and why not go to asexual and neutral toys to win the model "toys for girls, toys for boys".While respecting the demands and desires of children, offering toys that are suitable for both sexes (scientific, sports, construction, educational toys) remains the ideal.

Thanks to Anne Bacus, psychologist and author of your child from one to three years old in Editions Marabout.