World Prematurity Day: "As parents, we feel helpless"

By Julien Munoz Published on La Presse de la Manche See my news

Each year, in France, 60,000 babies are born prematurely in France (approximately 165 per day), ie more than 8% of all births, knowing that a birth before the end of the 8th month of pregnancy is usually considered premature.

The date of November 17 was chosen in 2009 to celebrate the first world day of prematurity, on the initiative of the association SOS Préma and the European foundation of associations of premature babies.

This international day is above all an opportunity to talk about premature births, and to raise funds to improve the prevention of prematurity, the monitoring of pregnancies and the care of families.

On the occasion of this World Day, we called on your testimonies... and we received nearly a hundred responses from parents, in the Channel, who wanted to share their experience and their story. Extracts.

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Stéphanie: “Living from day to day”

“My twins were born premature on June 24, 2015 at 5 months and 3 weeks pregnant. Their diagnosis was initiated from birth. The doctors told us from the beginning that they were not viable and that they could not decide, that it was going to be from day to day. That's what we did, live hand to mouth for two months.

My daughters are fine now, they are healthy despite a difficult start. They were so brave, fighting to stay alive. As parents, we feel helpless, and that's the worst feeling. Even if it's been six years, it's still an ordeal from which we never recover. »

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Morgane: “His body was the size of my hand”

“My son Nathan was born on May 29, 2019, at 27 weeks and 6 days. It was 610 grams and 24 cm. Her body was the size of my hand, so fragile. Deep down I knew he had incredible strength to live on. Not easy to see a little piece with so many machines around him.

My son stayed 1 month and 10 days on a ventilator. When his lungs started working, what a relief for me.

I would like to thank the Cherbourg neonatology staff very much for supporting me throughout this period. My son is now 2 and a half years old, and he is a lively little boy. »

When ?

Celestia was born on August 28, 2021… 2 months too early. His term was scheduled for October 30. Her mother Ophélie sometimes has fun saying that "this Halloween baby preferred to be a summer baby". During her daughter's hospitalization, the mother found comfort in writing. This gives an emotionally charged text, entitled "When?" When? This is often a question we are asked, a question we are tempted to ask. When will it come out of the hospital? When will she be transferred to Saint-Malo? When will she be able to breastfeed? When will she be able to breathe without assistance? The answer, we understand, the doctors have not not, so we stopped asking the question. We understood that it was like asking when your child will walk or talk. Each baby has his own rhythm, and you just have to give him time. So we live from day to day, in this service that a mother described as a transition capsule or time bubble. Often, we don't know what day it is or what time it is. Sometimes we arrive at 7 a.m. because we woke up at the dawns, sometimes we stay until the end of the night because we're not sleepy. Sometimes we have lunch at 3 p.m. and dinner at midnight. Sometimes we ruminate. We wonder why? Why us? Why we didn't have the right to a normal pregnancy, to a full-term baby? We have the impression that the sky fell on our heads the day we were told about the threat of premature delivery, that it is so unfair.And then, sometimes, we speak with other mothers who, the drawn features, tired eyes, tell us their story. Like this mom who tells me about her journey and how her daughter, born at 26 weeks, first went through the intensive care unit, that she has been hospitalized for more than 4 months because she caught covid during her pregnancy. She also tells me that a year ago, she had to give birth to a dead baby due to a complication. This fragile mother, I try to comfort her as best I can, with clumsy words, and my pain suddenly seems quite ridiculous. I still see her wandering the halls alone, staring into space. The hospitalization of her baby then seems to be a very bearable pain in the face of the loss of a baby. So I repeat to myself that Celestia is fine, that her condition is stable, and that it's only a matter of time. Time seems like an eternity. Things are not progressing as quickly as we had imagined, but each little progress puts balm in our hearts.

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— Winnie Kitaka Tue Mar 18 20:05:41 +0000 2014

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Lucie: "No one had told us about prematurity"

“Auriane arrived on December 25, 2017, at 34 weeks. It was a shock because we weren't expecting it, and no one had told us about the prematurity and the water breaking (neither gynecologist nor midwife). We stayed a month in neonatology, and now Auriane will be 4 years old, and in great shape, despite her difficult first year. His birth was our happiest Christmas. »

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Jessica: “The separation from birth was very difficult to live with”

“Our son Louis was born on August 25, 2021, at 32 weeks of pregnancy. We struggled to see our son hooked up everywhere, with oxygen to breathe, and the tube to be able to feed him. He had a lot of respiratory arrests.

The separation with my son from birth was very difficult to live with. I gave birth in Saint-Lô and my son was transferred to Cherbourg, they couldn't find a place for me, I couldn't see him for two days.

I was able to have him skin-to-skin on me, and we were trying to put him to the breast, even if he still couldn't nurse. But the mother-baby bond came as well. When he was skin to skin, he was soothed. »

Angélique: "A premature baby has a strength in him that you can't imagine"

“I gave birth to a little boy named Logan, born at 29 weeks for 1.190 kg and 38 small centimeters, on November 11, 2018. And there we enter the world of prematurity, with top neonatology of the top, without knowing that a premature baby has a force in him that one cannot imagine. I met my son 3 hours after giving birth.

He stayed a month and a half in neonatology. He came out for the new year. Today, he is a little boy full of life, with his little character! »

Evie: "Today is our fight, it's all about him"

“My son was born at 31 weeks on May 29, 2018, at 1,120 kg. An extremely difficult moment when you don't expect it. I had a rejection the first few days, I didn't want to deal with it. I was so afraid of losing it that I didn't want to get attached to it. The weight was only going down, and then, when it came back up, I gradually managed to take care of it, give him all the love he needed to fight.

Upon release, no apparent sequelae. But growing up… At 5 months, hernia operation. At 16 months, the world collapses when learning various malformations, especially in the back...

Despite our reminders, no doctor cares, we are not listened to. I had to put my activity on hold to take care of him. Today is our fight, everything revolves around him. »

Ludyvine: "I was very afraid to relive all this in my second pregnancy"

“My boys were born at 33 weeks, following a hospitalization at 29 weeks for threatened premature delivery. The first 48 hours were very agonizing because one of the babies was life-threatening.

They stayed “only” three weeks in neonatology thanks to a good birth weight, but these weeks seemed endless to us. Coming home is also very stressful when you have gotten used to the sensors to know if everything is fine.

I was very scared of going through all of this again in my second pregnancy, and having a full-term baby is what helped me the most to stop feeling guilty about this previous complicated pregnancy and this premature birth.

I would like to thank the neonatology staff at the Pasteur Hospital, I did not remember the names but a few faces, the comforting words and the precious advice. »

Virginie: "for hours our hands laid on him"

In the evening, we returned with difficulty. We called several times a night. When he reached a good weight and was able to breathe and eat on his own, we were able to start bringing him in, first during the day, then for good, after almost 4 months as a newborn.

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